Today is a random one...

I think that sometimes life deals you blows just to see how you would deal with it. Initially at the end of that first sentence I subconsciously said, "me"; I wonder what that means. Right now I am sitting here in the comforts of my apartment wishing that it was cooler outside. Later on I think that I am going to head out to a beach and walk. Im just baffled at how much I want to be out in nature lately. I dont know what thats about but I am going to embrace it full force as long as I have peace. Thats all that Ive been wanting lately. I cant say that Ive had it although I have been making an effort to get to that point.

Meditation is what used to get me there. I know last summer when I was still adjusting to how I wanted my apartment to be arranged, I was at peace when I was at work and even moreso when I came home as I had a half a splif and laid back, cleared my mind focusing solely on my breathing. I would wake up 30 minutes to an hour later feeling quite refreshed. I dont know what it is now that is keeping me from having that. Whatever the case I know that I can not revert back to that discomfort that I had back in October.

I have been writing more poetry and I am anxious about this book of mine. I am thinking about self publishing I just don't know if I am ready for all of the work that is going to come along with it. But we will see, I have to do more research. I want my first published book to be one if the best to hit any bookstore or library shelf. I want to be acclaimed like my Soror Nikki Giovanni or like Ms. Maya Angelou and I will be. So far in my life when I say that I want to get something done I do, for all that its worth to me. And yes I am always looking for a bargain as I inch my wait to the point of success.

And now I have to leave this blog of random thoughts so that I can attend to my work that was just emailed to me. You know sometimes, its not the work that you do that makes you lose your passion is the superiors who have supposedly been in your position before. Nine times out of ten just like celebrities from the hood, when they make it to a point of success, they forget about their struggle to get there and the giants shoulders that they stood on to get there. It is however my goal to never forget.